Hello all!  Well it’s been 3.5 months since I sat down and opened my heart about my struggle with work/life balance (you can read it here).  A lot has changed since April 2012.  We enrolled our kiddos into a structured school 4 days a week.  I spend my Fridays with them and only them.  My husband and I have been trying very hard to be hands free in the evenings while they’re home.  So this means keeping each other in check if we see the other on our phones and no computers in the evenings.  I think in today’s society the norm is to always be connected or ‘plugged’ via electronic devices and we decided that we did NOT want that to be the norm for our family.  It was never intentional to be constantly plugged, it just happened with the www and the convenience factor at our fingertips.  We allow our son to play on his iPad but in moderation only.  We enjoy reading to our kiddos and my son is really into coloring and writing right now so we strongly encourage that.  Things on the work/life front are getting better and better daily.

It is by no means perfect.  My hours are currently Mon-Thurs, 10:00 – 4:00; however, Oklahoma had a month of extreme temperatures, exceeding 115° so I had no choice but to reschedule sessions.  This put me working on the weekends but I knew that it was temporary so it was ok.  I know that there are things like this that will come up, especially being a newborn photographer and scheduling sessions around due dates. But to just have a set schedule takes so much stress out of my life.  I know that when I look at my calendar I am looking at those 4 days, no more and no less. My son started Kindergarten last week so that sort of threw a wrench into my scheduling since I have to leave my studio at 2:30 to get him but I will work it out.

Then there is the ME thing.  I think everyone that is a mom can agree when I say that all focus on yourself is gone when your little lovelies enter this world.  I know it did for me.  I didn’t care what I looked like, how I dressed, if I wore makeup or not, etc.  When I made a major change to my business in April I also made a major change for myself and my health.  I was the heaviest I had ever been, almost tipping the scales at what I weighed when I delivered my daughter, yikes!  Everything had just spiraled out of control.  So I want to share what has worked for me.

I knew that I was overweight but I would get so frustrated because I knew it would take forever to lose it so I just never tried.  I had worked so hard to build my business and to be a work-from-home-mom that I totally put myself on the back burner. Not intentionally but everything else just took over. The more my business grew the more out of control my work/life balance became. I began traveling more and more so with traveling came eating out. I was always so busy that I was working all hours of the night, running my kids from sitter to sitter and never once realizing that every.single.thing. I put in my mouth was junk. I was a soda addict. I would drink a minimum of 32oz a day… because it was convenient and well… it tasted good!

When I decided to make a change back in April I knew that I had to focus on one thing at a time and I knew that the first thing was my diet. I’m not a cook AT ALL but I have learned how to steam veggies and know how to peel fruit (lol) so that’s about all I eat. Almost every night my husband will throw something on the grill, usually chicken or a pork chop for me.  If you’ve ever heard the saying ‘eating clean’ that is the diet I follow, which isn’t a diet at all.  It’s a lifestyle change.  This is a great site to check out if you’re interested in knowing more about eating clean.  The entire first month I only focused on my eating. Wise words of my trainer…eat clean and train dirty. Getting your eating habits under control is the most important part; 90% of losing weight is your eating habits and the other 10% is working out. So I devoted the entire first month to eating clean. Very minimal sugar and no sugary drinks and tons of fruits and veggies. The first week was tough because I was a 32oz a day soda drinker, yikes! But I knew if I made it a week I could do it. I lost 9 pounds my very first week so that in itself was so motivating for me.

When I knew I had control of my eating I started working out.  That was about a month and a half into my lifestyle change.  I’m now training for my first 5k with my sister and I’m so excited!! We meet at 5 in the morning and the amount of energy I have throughout the day is incredible.  I spend 3 days a week circuit training to build muscle and 3 days a week running for cardio.  I’ve traveled quite a bit over the last month and we’re currently in the process of moving so it’s been challenging and I haven’t been able to work out as much as I’d like but I haven’t gained any weight, yay!

I had a lot of weight to lose and it was very intimidating.  I had a total of 68 pounds to lose to reach my goal of 160 lbs and that is a lot.  So instead of looking at the big number I set smaller, 10 pound goals.  You CAN do it, don’t ever think you can’t.  I follow Jillian Michaels on Facebook and love this quote she posted “You don’t always get what you wish for, you get what you WORK for.”  That is so true on so many levels.  Here is a photo to show what I’ve been working so hard for.  Still have 28 pounds to goal and I know I’ll get there.

Love and Hugs,
Kristen

…to be continued

I wanted to share something with you that has been weighing heavy on my heart for quite some time and it has to do with work/life balance. I’ve been very emotional lately but it’s the happy cry because I think I have finally figured out this little thing we call work/life balance. There have been a few posts recently by other photographers and it has inspired me to write my story. I think that we can all take something from every story and hope that more photographers in our industry will share theirs as well. Even if you’re not a photographer and have a hard time balancing work and life, I hope this is beneficial to you in some way.

When I started this journey in photography, it was solely a hobby. I wanted to take better pictures of my son, who was an infant at the time. But my creative love, need to figure everything out side would not let it stop at a hobby. I began taking classes in 2007 and was hooked. I was working at an amazing company in Human Resources… my cup of tea. I have a love for helping others, building relationships and just people in general. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter in 2009, my husband and I sat down and made the decision that I was going to be a stay-at-home-mom. We were not dependent on my photography income at all. I had no idea or plans Son Kissed Photography would turn into what it has today. I am very blessed no doubt, but it has been a very difficult, confusing and hard-to-balance road.

Fast forward to 2010… as I said before I love people and building relationships, therefore, I could never say no. I wish there was a guide on how to own your own business because I’m pretty sure I did everything absolutely wrong. What’s sad is I have a degree in Business… I guess I should have paid more attention in college.   All joking aside, my calendar was horrid. I found myself working every weekend, trips to my in-laws stopped because I was always working, watching my nephew play sports stopped because I was working, even spending time with my family on the weekends stopped because I was working but all of that never crossed my mind when I was booking and shooting sessions (hindsight is always 20/20). I was all about making my clients happy, and essentially that’s how it should be.  My husband said several times that I should be home on the weekends and my response was always, “This is my job, just like you work during the week, I work on the weekends.” But he was SO right. I only wish I would have listened to him. I have to give him so much credit for supporting me during my journey. Aside from him wanting me home on the weekends he’s never once complained about anything else. What a guy.

My first big wake-up call was summer of 2011 when I was sitting at the studio on Saturday photographing a newborn session. Baby was nursing and I picked up my phone to pass time and there was a text message from my husband. I opened it and he was sending me a picture of my son with a fresh hair cut, grinning from ear to ear. Tears slowly flowed down my face as I realized at that very moment that I had been so busy that I didn’t have 30 minutes to cut my own son’s hair. And that moment I vowed to make a change. No more newborn sessions on the weekends unless it was a special circumstance. By the time I drove to my studio, set up, photographed the session, cleaned up and drove home, the entire day was gone. That was easily 6 hours of my day. Gone. Every weekend.

Fast forward to February of 2012 and wake-up call 2… I was browsing images from a workshop that were snapped of me and found myself in utter disbelief when I came across an image of myself setting up a shot. I was mortified at what I saw… a very overweight person in the image. I seriously could not believe it. I had let myself spiral out of control, eating habits were horrendous because I’d be in a session all day or sitting at my computer all day so when I finally snapped back to reality several hours later I found myself starving. By that time it would be time to pick up my kiddos from school so I’d hurry through the drive-thru and pick up something extremely unhealthy but never thinking twice because I was short on time. Before I let myself get so out of control I was working out regularly and slowly I just let it all go because I got busier and busier. I always put work before myself, because that’s what people pleasers do.

The Lord has given me several taps on the shoulder the past 2 months and I’ve finally listened. I went to the doctor to have my health checked because honestly… I was scared. Did I have high cholesterol? High blood pressure? Thankfully everything came back normal and we talked about healthy eating habits, what to avoid and what to consume. I’ve taken my health very seriously and proud to announce that I have lost 15.7 pounds since my appointment. It’s still a very long journey but I’m so proud of myself and I don’t say that very often. It took waking up and getting out of work zombie mode. Another nudge the Lord gave me was when I woke my son up for school one morning and with his tired eyes he looked up at me and said, “Where are we going today?” My heart broke inside. My babies had no structure and I was so furious with myself. How could I let this happen? I am supposed to be the one providing structure and I’ve not even paid any mind to how this is affecting my children. My kids are enrolled in a Mother’s Day Out program on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s and I have two dear friends that would watch them for me on other days I had things going on (which was a lot). I’m so grateful for them and how well they took care of my kiddos. But that didn’t change the fact that I had failed at providing structure. I did a lot of soul searching and praying for God to give me answers on what I should do because I was a mess. After a few days, we made the decision as a family to enroll our kids in a 4 day-a-week, curriculum-based program. I feel so much peace knowing that they will have structure and for the first time in my career as a work-from-home-mom, I have structure. Going forward, I have set business hours and will not be booking appointments Fri-Sun. I’m so proud of myself for taking the “time” to figure this all out. I feel at peace and feel that this is going to work well for our family.

Thank you for taking the time to read my work/life balance journey. There are so many more points I could have added and so many more wake-up calls. We all have our stories and our journey but it all boils down to having your work life and family life balanced.

Articles that you should definitely check out :

Amy Boring : The Photography Industry and Relationships

Hands Free Mama : How to Miss a Childhood

With all of this being said, I absolutely, 100 percent love what I do.  That is why I was in the situation I was in.  I’m going to love what I do even more now because I have a happy family, I’m healthier and I have structure.

Much love and big hugs,
Kristen

… to be continued

My passion for photography came a little over 4 years ago after the birth of my son.  I had no idea photography would become a full-blown career, nor did I know the industry I would be stepping into.  I quit my full-time job to fulfill my dream of being a stay-at-home-mom to my then 2 year old son and baby girl on the way.  I was blessed beyond belief when my photography career took off.  I’m so thankful to the hundreds that have put their trust in me and the hundreds that have been with me from the beginning.  I’m truly honored.

We all know that social media is a powerful thing, almost too powerful!  And with that comes good and bad.  I love when fellow photographers comment on my photos or pay me a compliment; who doesn’t?  But then there are others that try to bring you down.  At the end of the day the only comments that “really” matter are the comments/compliments from my clients.  Comments like:

“How am I ever going to choose? The photos are all so good! “

“I think you’re pretty incredible!!! Received some really awesome pictures in the mail today…they are SOOOOO perfect. My fam and I just got done drooling over them.”

“One of the most talented people I have ever met.”

“Kristen, I just now got home and looked at all the pictures and we LOVE them. They are perfect, you do an amazing job!! Thank you so much ”

“Kristen, I am just starting to appreciate how talented you are! Thank you for the opportunity to work with you! These are very special pix you took of my babies!”

… just to list a few.  Whenever I receive a compliment from a client, I copy and paste it to a Word document so they are always there to remind me why I do what I do.  I do it for my clients and the lifelong memories I am blessed to create for them.  Only my clients know that I spent 5 hours at their newborn session to capture every shot I would have at a smooth flowing 2 hour session.  Only my clients know that I worked over an hour on the 1 pose they really wanted.  Only my clients saw me soothe and love their baby like they were my own.

Unfortunately, there is negativity in the photography industry (as with every industry) and it’s so easy to get caught up in what your peers think.  Make yourself a little brag book compiled of comments and compliments from your clients, because in the end, they are all that matter.

In closing, my passion will never die.  My passion for teaching fellow photographers and photographing expectant mothers, newborns, babies and children will NEVER die.  Anyone that knows me personally know that I pour every ounce of my heart into my craft; whether it be teaching a fellow photographer or photographing a newborn, baby or child.

I saw this quote on a dear friends Facebook wall and it has stuck with me and is a great reminder when I see myself or my peers falling victim to what others think within our industry.

Art has never been a popularity contest.  – James Levine

Such a powerful statement and reminds me daily of my passion to serve my clients.